Group Ride Rules & Etiquette
RIDERS PHRASEBOOK
By: Scott MartinHow to translate cycling’s confusing language
Cyclists are the biggest sandbags and secret trainers around – They’ll say anything to soften you up for the kill.
Don’t let this happen to you.
Study this handy rider’s phrasebook to find out what they really mean when they say:
- “I’m out of shape”
- Translation: I ride 400 miles a week...
- “I’m not into competition. I’m just riding to stay in shape”
- Translation: I will attack until you collapse...
- “I’m on my beater bike”
- Translation: I had this baby custom made in Tuscany...
- “It’s not that hilly”
- Translation: This climb last longer than a presidential campaign...
- “You’re doing great”
- Translation: Yo, lardo, I’d like to get home before midnight. This is what you get for spending the winter watching TV and eating chocolate.
- “This is a no-drop ride”
- Translation: I’ll need an article of your clothing for the search and rescue dogs.
- “It’s not that far”
- Translation: Bring your passport.